Parents Share Amusing and Adorable Things Their Kids Have Said

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    Font - r/thingsmykidsaid u/NewWiseMama • 17d Join It's 1:30 am, master bedroom door cracks open. Little footsteps approach the bed and a small voice says..."Mama it's an 'mergency!" "Mergency snuggle. I need serious snuggles, please?" I cracked up, cuddled 5 year old, and she promptly fell asleep. Didn't have the heart to take her back to her bed straight away and wake the tot sis in her room. Might be losing the bed location war, but kids are so cute sometimes.
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    Font - r/thingsmykidsaid u/rena_bean. 23d My bra is now known as my "work boobs" Kid isn't even 2 yet. He's going places. Join
  • 03
    Rectangle - r/thingsmykidsaid u/Edith_of_Mirth • 26d The genders according to my daughter: 1. Big girl 2. Small girl 3. Small bear She's almost 3. Join
  • 04
    Font - r/thingsmykidsaid u/wllwrkfrfd. 11d Join Clogged butt My 5yo has been on a roll lately Scene: 5yo runs to the bathroom and of course leaves the door open because privacy is a stupid concept. Wife and I are on the couch drinking coffee, bathroom is well within earshot of the living room. 5yo: grunts a few times... "Hey dad! Have you ever suffered from a clogged butt?!” Me: "Are you having trouble pooping?" 5yo: "Yeah Me: "I had a little trouble this morning too. Clogged butt syndrome must
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    Font - Wife: cackling like a lunatic... "I didn't have any trouble, no clogged butt here" 5yo: "LUCKY!!" Discussing bowel movements as a family is just a regular thing once you've got kids. Also, he's fine and announced loudly that his second attempt was successful. I'm fine as well, thanks coffee. Happy Saturday y'all!
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    Font - r/thingsmykidsaid u/Jaee127 19d Toddler wants to play with baby brother Join 3.5yo son: "Mommy why can't he (5mo old brother) play with me yet?" Me: "He's trying he's still too little to play like you." 3.5yo: looks at baby brother "Hey!! Get bigger already!"
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    Human body - r/thingsmykidsaid u/Ginger_Yinzer • 8d Join 3yo was counting and stopped at 10.. What comes after 10? "Ready or not, here I come"!
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    Font - r/thingsmykidsaid u/eighteightfivesix • 22d Join I want to watch annoying shell 3 yr old wanted to watch some puppy show on Disney plus. Under my breath, I said "God that show is annoying as hell". She heard me and now thinks the show is called 'annoying shell'
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    Font - r/thingsmykidsaid u/juniormintsduh • 29d You didn't give him a map! My dude was playing with his train set. Yells to me that a black spider is following him around and I need to get it. I get a tissue and kill it. We go to the bathroom to flush it. As I'm flushing the toilet, he yells, "Mommy!!!!! You didn't give him map!!!!!! How he find his family now?!?!??!!!" So much pain and angst in his little voice. Join Now I feel like such an asshole for not giving that dead spider a map to find
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    Font - r/thingsmykidsaid u/SavingsPeace2229.9d Join "Why doesn't Sonic (the Hedgehog) take the ring to the volcano?" - My toddler about The Lord of the Rings. I was reading the Hobbit to my 4-year old. We got to the part where Bilbo uses the ring to escape Gollum when my daughter dutifully reminds me that Sonic the Hedgehog uses gold rings too. We start chatting about how the ring is magic and needs to be destroyed. Once she grasps the idea, she asked me "why doesn't Sonic just take the ring to
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    Font - r/thingsmykidsaid u/eighteightfivesix • 17d Join There's 2 squirrels outside our window right now, my 3 yr old: "the big squirrel is the daddy squirrel and he takes care of his baby, just like my dad takes care of me and bb jordie (her little brother)" Me: "that's nice, where do you think the mama squirrel is?" 3 yr old: "she's dead"
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    Font - r/thingsmykidsaid u/wllwrkfrfd 15d Join I just wanna get paid 5yo: "Hey dad do you want a massage?" Me: "Sure! In fact I'll give you $5 if the massage is good" 5yo: starts massaging my back 5yo (2 minutes later): "Let me know if you're done" Me: "Why? Are your hands getting tired?" 5yo: "No, I just wanna get paid"
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    Font - r/thingsmykidsaid u/soulbarn 16d ● Join My son the lawyer.... When my son was about three, he was doing a lot of picking his nose. So I gently said to him: "You know, in the future I'd really like it if you wouldn't pick your nose so much." He looked at me and said: "Dad, nobody can say what's going to happen in the future."
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    Font - r/thingsmykidsaid u/onlyever_42. 20d "I like your haircut" "It makes you look like a rhino" Join
  • 15
    Font - r/thingsmykidsaid u/NicoleASUstudent. 11d Join My daughter has named her room-clearing farts, "Sophia the worst." She's 7. I watched sophia for a year back in her time. Now we are all watching it again with my 3 year old, (albeit begrudgingly.) Her gas is toxic. I'm weird about smells anyway. I studied way too much science and the idea of those molecules entering into my mouth and nose then lungs... I just can't. Also they smell like something died. (Her Dr said she's fine and it isn't he

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